Wednesday, June 13, 2007

my first outside blog.

i blog a lot. but never with this kind of freedom. hmm. i hope none of my friends find it. then the freedom will be all gone. so right now i really should be writing a paper on babies and their diseases and development and shit. but i really don't want to. i really could care less about it. i hate fucking college. maybe i just hate putting effort into things. well actually, that's not true. here are some of the things i do put effort into :

1. getting people to like me.
2. being social
3. being friendly

for some reason - that's become really important to me lately. being that "perfect" friend.

i wonder - is this really me? or is this some sort of phase i'm going through? could it be that i'm denial of my low self-esteem, that i need others' constant approval?

i don't know. i guess we'll see.

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